More on the De Facto Question

In the previous post (was short—not the whole counsel of God) several people responded by email as well as here on the blog. How differently sincere and godly respondents can look at a post!

Some were very positive. Some did not actually read the article carefully. Some read with the aim to dismiss what is written or to critique and they miss what is actually being said. Others were disappointed that no conclusion was clear— whether “it” is right or wrong. Bless ‘em all!

We like to have difficult questions settled cleanly and simply. Then we can be quick to judge people and make decisions affecting people’s lives, tell others how to behave. But we end up excluding some behaviours and winking at others. Instead of showing patience and compassion, we exclude people.

We were addressing the situation of an already established, committed and caring ‘marriage’, one that has been recognised by the state and in law for many decades and by perhaps 75% of Australian society.

Should we not follow Jesus in the way he acted? He did nothing except what the Father told him. So must we cultivate that in our own lives rather than live just by precepts, dogma. It is important that we begin to move in the Holy Spirit in how we respond to people.  This will become critical in this culture of increasing ‘new morality’, political correctness and intolerant, mischievous opposition to anything Christian in politics, society and media.

There are some things that we can be clear about and these were pointed out in my post, things we hold true as Jesus did. I suppose I could have added how fornicators will come under the judgment of God. But that’s not the sort of issue that was being addressed.  Certainly young people need to be warned that cohabitation is not the answer to their search for true oneness, wholeness or identity.

There is a need to be holy, to please the Lord. But how is that achieved? It is the gift of God, lest any of us should boast. Grace. A free gift, the Holy Spirit. Not law. That needs another short post or two, perhaps twenty!

Holiness will not be achieved by observance of Law, any set of laws. Not by the rules and norms of average, lifeless, pew-bound Christianity, nor by rules we make up to protect our group, large or small or to give some false security or human authority. Imposition, judgmentalism and dogmatism.

For those of us who have escaped from the box (buildings, priestcraft, professional staff, staged-managed meetings, finances, etc) we are thrown back on the Holy Spirit to lead us and show us how to love, to embrace the newbees and to bring prophetic understanding and the Father’s mind, His ways.

In Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman (John 4), He graciously exposed her history of 5 husbands and the current live-in guy. Yes, in that society there was a difference between marriage and cohabitation, which based on the evidence available, actually had very little in common with the scenario we were addressing.

Jesus did not behave as the scribes and Pharisees—and many fundamentalist or ‘bible-believing’ leaders—would do with condemnation and judgment. That word of knowledge from God brought her salvation, an unexpected extended stay for Jesus and co in Sycar and amazing blessing. Jesus is the standard.

Don’t you love how Paul talks about prophecy in action: if all prophesy, and an unbeliever or ungifted man enters, he is convicted by all, he is called to account by all;  the secrets of his heart are disclosed; and so he will fall on his face and worship God, declaring that God is certainly among you. (1 Corinthians 14)

We must expect such take place in our midst as we mix with unbelievers or ungifted ones. May that be our desire and experience as we deal with the many difficult situations which will arise and grow more frequent in coming days. The Holy Spirit is able to expose people’s hearts when they try to justify their actions, as they will. We all tend to.

We are promised magnanimous gifts and graces. Why are we not experiencing them? Why present to people worldly principles, white-washed with a veneer of religiosity? Let us move in the blessings of the new covenant in grace and glory and not with some mental checklist of dos and donts.

After decades of marriage, I believe it’s best for couples to express before witnesses a covenant relationship and be recognised by wider society even though I would struggle to produce texts to clearly support that.

Jesus is everything. Listen to God speak! He is there and He is not silent

Defacto Couples & Fellowship

Recently the question arose how to deal with people who want to join in Christian fellowship but who are living in a long term or lifelong, committed defacto relationship. Some important questions are raised . . . .

When such couples seek to join us, what action do we take – welcome them or kinda dissuade them?

Or do we welcome them and then preach rules for them to observe? Hope not.

Do we demand they live by our interpretation of biblical law? Aaagh.

OR, do we believe that the Lord of the gathering is well able to show us who truly seek Him, who are led by the Spirit, and what is His will in each particular case? I think so.

So just how different is marriage from defacto?

And what is meant by “being married”?

Many couples we see from the scriptures were seen as husband and wife —Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rachel, Jacob and Rachel, Moses, David, and so on—though neither a wedding ceremony nor a certificate from the state are mentioned.  We read of gifts from the bridegroom to the virgin’s father but no wedding! Yet it is evident that these were married in God’s sight.

It’s fascinating that before the 10th Century AD, marriages of Christian believers were celebrated by families and the community and not in an institutional religious setting. However marriage was frequently seen by the community to be related to God, a serious undertaking and as a lifelong committed relationship.

What Jesus wants for couples as we read in the gospels  (Matthew 19:16-30), Mark 10:2-8, Luke 18:15-17). . . .

leave your father and mother

be joined to your spouse—one flesh means one mind, heart and soul as well as body

don’t let anyone put asunder what God has joined (permanent relationship

and love one another “as I have loved you!”

Of course, this last command of Jesus must apply in every relationship. To love the other means death to the self-life and sacrifice for the sake of the other. Your spouse is your neighbour! Right?

So don’t you agree that before anyone—and not only those in a defacto relationship—joins with a fellowship which stands for discipleship and reaching others for Christ, they need to see what the group is all about and what it is NOT. This might mean a process of meeting with them, reasoning from Jesus’ words, standing firm in faith and truth but also being welcoming and not imposing law.  Grace and love trumps law.

They may need to be challenged about repentance from dead works and sin and be baptised and affirm Jesus as their Lord. Then it’s a process of teaching and discipleship which will hopefully lead to right thinking and understanding what Jesus wants from us all.

If a proper foundation is laid the incomers will then be open to the correction of the Holy Spirit. But they may decide not be open and withdraw from us. Fair enough.

John 17 “they they may all be one, as we are one” (cf Jn 14) demands we all participate in the closest oneness and communion with one another and with the Father and His Son.  Right?

Gal 5:24 “The fruit of the Spirit . . . . .” applies to us all for sure! This is a call for us all to “Live in the spirit”!

These matters should be brought before any who wish to be part of a life-giving, Spirit-inspired group of people.

Being One before a Watching World

Last two posts, I wrote about how Jesus prayed specifically and most pointedly for you and me, as if it were the most important request ever That they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You (John 17:21a)

Jesus’ oneness with the Father is the pattern we are called to emulate. We know we are called to do so because of Jesus’ prayer. It is a clear insight into what God’s will is. We must obey. It is critical.

This is echoed in His great command to “immerse them [new disciples] into the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit”. Immersion or enveloping, submerging, absorbed into can be a legitimate translation. It expresses the idea of becoming completely occupied with something, giving as much as possible of your time, energy, or concentration to it.

But Jesus goes even further . . . . .

That they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me. (John 17:21b)

How critical ONENESS is, according to Jesus! Unless this oneness with “Us”—the Father and the Son—is a reality here with us on earth, the watching world will not believe Jesus was sent by the Father, the Only true Living God who spoke all into existence!

We appear so weak before the watching world because of our lack of oneness, our divisions, our quarrels, our hardheartedness with fellow believers, let alone our often dislike and even hatred of others.

His wonderful ekklesia which He alone is building is HIS Body and He is its head and we are each joined with one another into him, the head. Unity is found in His Body. That is inescapable. This is serious . . . .

You know that you are God’s sanctuary and that God’s Spirit lives in you, don’t you? If anyone destroys God’s sanctuary, God will destroy him, for God’s sanctuary is holy. And you are that sanctuary! 1 Cor 3:16-17

Oneness of God was the foundation statement of the Israelites. In Paul, God is revealed as Father, Son and Holy Spirit—yet is one, as Paul who was Hebrew to the core, was at pains to teach his Corinthian hearers :

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit, and there are varieties of ministries, but the same Lord. There are varieties of results, but it is the same God who produces all the results in everyone. (1 Cor 12:4-6)

I urge all of you to be in agreement and not to have divisions among you, so that you may be perfectly united in your understanding and opinions. (1 Cor 1:10).

Paul reminded the Ephesians to be diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling;  one Lord, one faith, one baptism,  one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all. (4:3-6)

The apostle implored his hearers to stand firm in one spirit, struggling with one mind for the faith of the gospel (Phil 1:27) and having the same attitude, sharing the same love, being united in spirit, and keeping one purpose in mind. (Phil 2:2)

Agreement and being of one mind and spirit is not an option. It is a serious command. And it is possible!

It is perfectly possible when we are joined organically to the Head as branches are in the Vine; when we are found in Jesus. We must put to death this terrible earthly, fleshly thing in us. Become alive in the Spirit, cooperating freely with the Lord and with one another, abounding in His work, abounding in His work and abandoning all else. One together in Him.

Being One in Jesus

Last time I wrote about how Jesus prayed specifically and most pointedly for you and me, as if it were the most important request ever . . . .

 That they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You (John 17:21)

Can you see what that means? We are to be ONE together, with one another, with each believer, in the same way that Jesus is ONE with the Father.

We are ever so plainly told here what is the will of God for us, what we must observe, what we must obey.

You could not get anything more obvious about the will of Jesus and the will of the Father for you who love Him and follow Him.

It is as plain as the nose on your face.

Unless you are nose-less or even faceless or blind.

If this is the will of Jesus, then it is absolutely, beyond any shadow of doubt, that we do what He says, do what he so seriously prayed for us, our destiny, our identity, just before His immeasurable, unrepeatable, awful and costly sacrifice for us.

We cannot escape the carrying out of this ultimate imperative.

That is, if we love Him.

If we ignore this awesome destiny, it may be that all our efforts are a waste of time. Wood. Hay. Stubble.

If we fail to change our minds at this point and put it off till another time, we are living in disobedience.

How shall we escape if we ignore such a great desire and plan and purpose of the Living, Loving God? Something so close to His heart?

What shall we say to the Judge of all the earth when we stand before Him?

So how can we –you and all of us—who call ourselves Christians, who profess the faith of Jesus, who claim to be biblical, who believe in truth and righteousness, how can you go on identifying yourselves as Anglican or Baptist or Pentecostal or whatever, belonging to separate competing groups and religious structures, divided over doctrines and along denominational divisions, none of which were envisioned by our Lord, and all of which hurt Him terribly?

Does he ask the impossible?

Yes impossible, unless we abandon our fleshly ideas of church and ministry and start boldly and humbly relying on the Holy Spirit who is give to us for this very task.

All things are possible to the one who believes.

The first step is repentance. Change of the mind. And the will.

One Together in God and His Christ

Having prayed to the Father first for his disciples that they may be one “as We are”, Jesus then prayed for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me (John 17:20-23). He therefore prays for you and me —we believers are included in His prayer and ongoing intercessions!

So what is He praying for us, we who have believed in Him through their word? The answer follows with some staggering ‘purpose clauses’. In this post, we look at the first of these.

That they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You;

This is the same request he made for the original disciples: that they may be one “as we are”, the Father in Jesus and Jesus in the Father. This is undoubtedly the will of God for you and me, for all followers. Nothing has changed, though we have changed and not for the better.

We are thus connected to the original disciples in the Spirit by the same will of God in Christ! We are meant to be together with them, immersed in the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. No change!  There is no change in covenantal privileges and responsibilities from them to us despite the passage of 2000 years. We live in the fellowship of the saints!

This awesome connection, oneness, S. Paul calls the Body of Christ. Jesus calls it My ekklesia.

This is of critical importance in how we understand our relationship with other believers, and how we look at ekklesia. That’s the original word used and badly translated into English as church, where it comes across as a religious concept. The word ekklesia in the original simply meant a gathering of people for a purpose. It had no religious connotation whatsoever. None.

The only ekklesia that is actually of God is the one Jesus is constructing—Matthew 16:18. Humans cannot build this. And we must not try. We are not commanded to do so.  And yet we fail to do what we are instructed—to bring in the harvest, to teach others to be disciples, to love one another and to be ONE together as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You.

But we can be so busy trying to help Him build churches, we fail to experience the glory He wants to display in us. He, not us, is the Architect and the Builder of His ekklesia. We are together members of His glorious Body, the living stones in this spiritual building. Together in Him.  ONE.

And in this glorious fellowship, this temple of God, we are to be one together. One not many.

Jesus’ prayer for you and me, all believers, constantly before the Father, is for our oneness. Do you see that excludes so much activity taken for granted in today’s religious organisations? Thus denominational exclusiveness is a grave error. Control of others is anathema. Selfishness, vainglory, hatred, self-righteousness, arguments, self-justifications, dogmatism causing splits, must all be thrown out.

When we are united together in actually doing what he has commanded—rather than what our precious theology or doctrines or opinions or religious organisations want—when we are abounding in the actual work of the Lord, filled with the Holy Spirit, bearing witness to Him, participating in the making of disciples, reminding, teaching, urging, persuading, encouraging others—in our joy and gladness in serving Him and one another, we leave behind those obstacles to oneness.  We forget our own agendas in favour of His agenda—our ONENESS.

 

It’s not about you. It’s not about us. It’s all about the Father and His Christ. Right?

A New Covenant—Neglected

Appallingly, today, we see a denial of much of the glorious features of the New Covenant—New Testament life. Instead of God’s laws poured by the Holy Spirit into their minds and written on their hearts, many are content to get their spiritual input not from the Lord Himself, but from middlemen with agendas—spiritual directors, priests, pastors. Instead of being the people of God, many see their identity as Baptist or Catholic or Evangelical and so on. The two-tier (clergy-laity) mentality persists.

Does not the Living God find fault with us in our unbiblical practices of assembly and hierarchy which we continue to hang onto?

Instead of all God’s people being in unbroken fellowship with the living God—knowing Him in their personal experience—they are dependent on professional Christians as mediators. The whole concept given to us by S. Paul—that of the one body with many active functioning members, each with gifts of the Holy Spirit—is ignored, seen as irrelevant or even mysteriously withdrawn. Millions even attend rituals in which it is believed Jesus is re-sacrificed again and again by a priest, clearly at great odds with the message of the New Testament—this sacrifice was made once for all and all time and is unrepeatable.

The key to much understanding of the New Covenant is that we are each born into a Body—the Body of Christ. Individualism is contrary to the New Covenant and to our organic, community life in the Body of Christ. We are many members and one body. God makes covenant with a people, not with individuals, but with the body of Christ, in Jesus.

When the Lord talks about a new agreement (covenant), he means that the first one is out of date. And anything that is old and useless will soon disappear. (Hebrews 8:13)

All kinds of spirituality that are inadequate or out of date have now been made obsolete by God’s flawless design; and what is obsolete and outdated soon disappears. And now what is not planted by the Father will be rooted up (Matthew 15:13). What is built, even if on a good foundation, if not with God’s specified materials, will be destroyed (1 Corinthians 3:10-15).

This New Covenant is made with Christ and we get under the New Covenant by being hid in Christ together. So it can never be broken! You cannot break it—it was not made with you!

So what are you going to do about this?

You have the wonderful power of choice. To change your mind and heart and actions.

Must we keep disobeying the Lord who gave Himself for us?

A New Covenant—Ignored?

God’s first agreement (covenant) with His people, Israel, was defective, wrote the author of the New Testament book The Letter to the Hebrews (8:7-8) so a better was needed. This author shows how much more serious is our attitude and response to the New Covenant (how shall we escape if we ignore its implications, Hebrews 2:1-4).

The new must not be ignored. God’s design practices for corporate worship revealed in the New Covenant/New Testament must be followed. We must not lose His words or replace them by worldly or pagan ideas and practices like clergy—laity, pastor—people.

In this better covenant Jesus is not prevented by death and we are ALL called into the experience of the Lord Jesus in the power of his endless, indestructible life in which he works in us who draw near. He promises to energise within us, in our own life, breathing his life in us, so that it becomes our new nature to love him, delight to do his will—his own life in us.

Have believers gone backwards since Judaism with corporate matters?  In many ways our practices in churches as Christ’s people today are often more bound and institutional and domineering to that of many devout Jews in Jesus’ own day. Jews did not have a pastor or priest ruling over them. Nor did they meet in ‘house-of-the-Lord’ type buildings. Nor was the sharing of the word of God jealously guarded by one (or two) leaders.  The synagogue was a place of discussion and sharing of scriptures by the several.  Common meals were frequently shared together. Plus each synagogue was independently managed. They did not have to toe the line of any outside superintendent, C.E.O., denomination, statement of faith, or any head office!

These churchy practices plainly ignore the New Covenant.

How far we have drifted from the apostles’ teaching and practice! They were liberated from the practices of Judaism, yes, of religion and the Holy Spirit was living in each one! Yet today Christendom is weak, divided up into competing denominations, living “in the flesh” and generally not experiencing the New Covenant. It seems we have a similar situation today to that which our Hebrews author was addressing  (Heb 8:7-8) . . . .

 If the first covenant with God had been all right, there would not have been any need for another one. But the Lord found fault with them and said . . . . . .  (quoting Jer 31:31-34)

I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts.
I will be their God, and they will be my people.
No longer will they teach or say to one another, “Know the Lord,”
because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest.
For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.’

Can we just go on and on ignoring the New Covenant made at the most tremendous cost to the Father by Jesus?

“If you love me you will keep my commands”  John 14:15

To be continued

Letter to Remina

Dear Remina (not her real name). I understand your concern because today many people including believers, have various reasons for their actions, some trivial, others most dreadfully serious and some even life-threatening. Discernment is needed. Every case is different. All effort must be made to bring about reconciliation by God’s grace. God is for us and for stable and holy marriage. Yet that is not always possible.

And I agree with you there are “terrible situations of domestic violence that seem insane to remain in”. That’s why I say Christian leaders have to treat people with compassion and grace rather than simply washing their hands and dismissing people with an authoritative dogma.

Yes, as you say, in the John 4 story “Jesus didn’t say ‘go divorce your current husband’. She was not a Jew yet she showed fruits of repentance by witnessing for Jesus to all the townsfolk! But there is no suggestion that she had to divorce her current husband. In fact if she had divorced her current husband she might have continued to wreak havoc and confusion by breaking yet another covenant, another “one-flesh” union, destroying another home.

The Bible teacher you quoted sounds very correct. But in that article he leaves a lot left unsaid. The Pharisees took pride in “being logically and biblically correct”. But Jesus said to them “I desire mercy and not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matthew 9:13) He is for the powerless, the needy, the broken. “A bruised reed he will not break; and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out” (Matthew 12:20)

“Knowledge puffs up while love builds up” (1 Corinthians 8:1) “If I have not love, I am nothing” (1 Corinthians 13)

In marriage, we are told to strive for peace (1 Corinthians 7:15). Much damage is often already done. We are under the New Covenant and God writes His words on our hearts. Certainly grace is not lawlessness.

With divorce, marriage has ended, the covenant is broken. This is not what God wants but it happens and nothing humans can ever do can change it. All we can do, as with many awful sins like abortion, wicked slander, vicious verbal abuse, etc, is to determine never to repeat them.  If we go on repeating sin we are living in darkness, slaves to sin. Is it really that okay to tell someone to go and undertake another divorce, to ‘put asunder’ again?

This subject is complicated and cannot be reduced to simple dogmatic assertions.

If we think we can make up for our sin by works, great sacrifices—for example, by the traumatic ending of another marriage, it may be just seeking to justify ourselves like the Pharisees both ancient and contemporary. This will not lead to freedom, but confusion, disruption, condemnation, guilt will remain. We cannot justify ourselves. Jesus has made the sacrifice for us, become sin for us. At great cost.

I agree “True repentance is not verbal admission only; one must cease or at least try to refrain from continuing in a sin in order to claim biblical repentance.”  But righteous action will depend on individual circumstances.

So in one situation, S Paul advised “if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances” (1 Corinthians 7:15). He added “Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them”(7:20). So how do we apply that to each situation?

And privately, Jesus’ disciples were stunned  by Jesus’ simple statement about divorce: “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” But Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given”. (Matthew 19:11)

The believer in a second marriage must be determined never to repeat known sin in any of its forms. And how can that be done if he or she is told to go and destroy another marriage? Especially a marriage that has the peace, the blessing of God upon it and both have married “in the Lord” and are committed to His kingdom and then by ‘putting asunder’, the other would be destroyed.

­­­­DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE – Part 4

Marriage is God’s amazing design and reflects the heavenly fellowship of Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. In His eyes, marriage is intended for life, not to be ended by human will.

Marriage is essential for the well-being of all peoples, the stability of societies and the guarantee of generations to come.

To God, marriage is so important, that He is more than willing to work in us by His amazing grace and power to sustain marriages and restore broken relationships. God loves us and wants us to be clean, to determine to make righteousness work. He is for us and “if God be for us who can be against us?” Romans 8.

Yes. If there has been adultery, the marriage covenant has been destroyed. It is done. Against God’s design. That cannot be changed by anyone. Divorce follows—a formality that follows something that has already passed away—a covenant now broken by adultery, by cruelty or by physical or virtual desertion of the unbeliever.

Adultery, fornication and divorce are things we humans, Christians and non-Christians alike, can do that cannot be undone by us or by anyone on earth.

Consider the religious, God-fearing people gathered in Jerusalem for the feast of Pentecost and hearing Peter’s powerful address. They were ‘cut to the heart’ by his words, stricken by the sudden realisation they were implicated in the murder of their Messiah, God’s Messiah! How awful! How could such an evil be committed?  What could be done now? How could such a deed ever be forgotten, forgiven? Surely this must be the unforgivable sin—to kill God’s beloved Son!

They cried out in utter despair What shall we do?

Peter boldly and without hesitation simply answered “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.  ” And they did. A new world community began (Acts 2:38-42).

It doesn’t matter what we have done, when we turn to God, totally changing our minds and hearts and actions regarding our wrongdoing, unable to blot out any past, powerless to cover up anything before the eyes of the Living God who made everything and from whom no secrets are hidden—we are then cleansed, washed, forgiven, made new, given righteousness as a free gift! We go, determined to sin no more. That is repentance. Real repentance brings forth fruit.

So when we see we have done wrong before God, we likewise must completely change our thinking and will and desire only to please Him. And we receive His peace, His justification. Such wrongs—cruelty, rejection, hatred, adultery, divorce, lust, rebellion, independence,  are now in the past, and we move on in newness of life, walking in the light of His word and in the empowering of the Holy Spirit.

There is only one totally unforgivable sin and it is not divorce, adultery or fornication! (Matthew 12:31-32)

Believers are never told by God that they have to do something to make up for their sin. On the contrary God blots out our iniquities (Acts 3:19) and he remembers them no more (Heb 10:17). We are reconciled by the death of His son (Heb 2:17, 2 Cor 5:16-21).  There is nothing we can do to change the situation except to love Him!

Jesus “offered for all time one sacrifice for sins . . . . . . For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy” (Heb 10:12-14).

God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!  For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! (Romans 5:8-10)

DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE – Part 3

I am writing this because I know of some Christian leaders who instruct divorcees who have since remarried another, to separate from their second partner, causing much turmoil and guilt for many, especially women–not surprisingly. This is wrong.

Sure, we must not treat any sin lightly. God hates divorce and true repentance and humility is necessary. Let us beware of self justification which is deadly! But neither should we turn hurting, confused and distressed people away with harsh words not seasoned with gentleness, love and grace, leaving them condemned and without peace.

So what about the situation where one of the married partners is not a believer? Let’s look at this matter and how the apostle Paul deals with this In his first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 7, beginning at verse 12  . . . . .

But to the rest I—not the Lord—say, if any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she agrees to live with him, let him not leave her.  The woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he agrees to live with her, let her not leave her husband.

Paul admits he has no word from Jesus here—he finds it necessary here to go beyond Jesus’ words.

The word ‘agrees’ in verse 12, is the Greek suneudokei  The NKJV has ‘is willing’ but the original word carries the idea of a mutual agreement (the prefix sun means ‘together’). Paul’s theme of gender equality /mutuality—so radical in the Ancient World— that we see in verses 2 to 5 of this section is continued here and also in the next statements of Paul . . . .

V14. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

In a peaceful household the unbelieving partner is blessed indeed. Paul expresses the hope here which he repeats again in verse 16: For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?  The unbelieving partner who remains has the best opportunity to be saved along with the children.

V15. Yet if the unbeliever departs, let there be separation. The brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace.

Paul recognises that some will opt out. The words ‘departs’ and ‘separation’ comes from chōrizō, and is translated ‘put asunder’ in Matthew 19:6, Mark 10:9.  Men and women can put asunder what God intends to be permanent. Technically this means the deserted spouse who remarries commits adultery! Yet Paul appears to say here that wilful desertion by the unbelieving one sets the other party free.  That can only mean ‘free to remarry’ though Paul’s ‘best’ is to remain single.

The Greek word dedoulōtai translated ‘under bondage’ comes from douloō, ‘to enslave’. It is a much stronger word than the word Paul uses for marriage in verses 27 and 39 and in Romans 7:2. Paul thus advises freedom for the deserted Christian believer rather than continuing enslavement in a difficult union. Can two walk together unless agreed?

Paul sees God’s calling to peace as an important matter. There is no sanctification or peace in a household of chaos, or enmity, of fighting and brutality. The believer is not bound to the unbeliever if he or she leaves.

Christians must not by their advice, commit someone to suffer a ‘marriage’ in a lifestyle of slavery. Such a marriage is no marriage at all. God has called us to peace, insists Paul (verse 15).

If Paul can encourage enslaved people to be free from slavery (see verse 21), surely a battered wife or an enslaved husband may take this opportunity to be set free and is free to marry in Christian community without condemnation.

It is clear that a marriage between a believer and an unbelieving monster is contrary to the spirit and intent of God’s calling of peace in marriage—a clear case of the need to depart from an unequal yoke (2 Corinthians 6).

Paul is silent about the impossible situations which many traumatised women find themselves locked in today, many of whom are such committed believers that divorce is the very last resort, even when they are suffering unimaginable abuse and the children are in constant physical, psychological and/or moral danger.

If it is better to marry than to burn, as Paul wrote to the Corinthians here (see verse 9), then surely it is better to un-marry than to daily face threats, cruelty, beatings, enslavements, and even death.

In all situations, the believer must humbly seek the Lord and wait on God for wisdom which is promised freely.

Beware deception of attempting to justify oneself!  We are justified only, entirely, and to the uttermost, by Jesus’ death.

To be continued . . . . .